i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
