A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
