Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Shitshow foam night was such a success
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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