i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
