My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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