I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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