all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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