She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
