my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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