He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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