You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize