Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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