I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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