i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
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I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
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She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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