i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
