If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
