How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
