Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you would pick up someone in the library
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Randomize
