Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
the gays at disneyland are vicious
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
