I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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