I'm jealous of your bromance
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
