69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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