I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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