you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize