I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
