remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
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It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
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