we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
