Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she looked like the before picture.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize