this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
