North Korea, Best Korea!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
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I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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