is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
