Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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