That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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