I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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