260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
