i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
