Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS