weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home