Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.

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  (248): I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease. http://tfl.nu/084h
  Replies (9) Good night (1691) Bad night (2410) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.

  (317): View more from Indiana

  And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt

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  (317): I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening. (317): And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt http://tfl.nu/9n2q
  Replies (13) Good night (1945) Bad night (420)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"

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  (602): I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on" http://tfl.nu/nkzh
  Replies (17) Good night (622) Bad night (3202) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.

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  (610): I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace. http://tfl.nu/hmhd
  Replies (48) Good night (7472) Bad night (985) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.

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  (425): her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle. http://tfl.nu/baj8
  Replies (52) Good night (2180) Bad night (7717) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"

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  (215): Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober" http://tfl.nu/vzc2
  Replies (6) Good night (3960) Bad night (709) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.

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  (610): Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions. http://tfl.nu/3hq7
  Replies (6) Good night (1661) Bad night (878)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?

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  (314): hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay? http://tfl.nu/svsk
  Replies (11) Good night (3351) Bad night (416) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.

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  (310): Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack. http://tfl.nu/hyp4
  Replies (7) Good night (520) Bad night (1263) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl

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  (407): I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl http://tfl.nu/1s7i
  Replies (11) Good night (1701) Bad night (472) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine

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  (703): Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine http://tfl.nu/dwth
  Replies (5) Good night (993) Bad night (468) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk

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  (847): being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk http://tfl.nu/qiyf
  Replies (6) Good night (890) Bad night (366) Order T-Shirt
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  (909): View more from California

  i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way

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  (909): i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on (901): continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way http://tfl.nu/cwtc
  Replies (1) Good night (890) Bad night (209)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.

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  (541): He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans (503): Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants. http://tfl.nu/h1iw
  Replies (7) Good night (1210) Bad night (244)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.

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  (919): We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible. http://tfl.nu/ny7k
  Replies (0) Good night (618) Bad night (244) Order T-Shirt

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