He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.