Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
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Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
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we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center