Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
