I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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