"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
