YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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