question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
