Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
