do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
