porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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