I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
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GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
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I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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