please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
