DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
