do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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