It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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