Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
