I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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