This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
