I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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