Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize